My days no longer play out as they should – No water-bowl to fill, no wrapping warm In winter coats to walk down to the wood – A cheerless list of tasks I don’t perform. I miss your warmth, your velvet fur, your eyes, Rose-petal ears and pointy needle-nose, Sounds and expressions. Now I realise How much a dog takes with him when he goes.
The axis that my world revolved around. A lightning-bolt that briefly touched the ground.
Wish we had done things differently And moreover, never had to.
But the moment has always been there – Buried in the small print
Of the pact we entered into All those years ago
Never once imagining We’d ever have to live it.
Having had a heart murmur for a number of years, our beloved whippet is now in congestive heart failure. No longer a case of if but when we will need to make A Decision, and probably sooner rather than later. I know there are many bigger, and far worse things happening in the world now: it’s still hard. Dogs are wonderful, but they do put you through it sometimes.
The bedroom door is closed
But now just to contain
That lies upon the place long after
The last trace of perfume fades.
To hear her desk-chair creak
Her cell-phone buzz
A sudden burst of song
As though a window cracked in heaven.
Knowing doesn’t stop me wishing.
Not that I
Would have it any other way:
She’s in her moment
A new star in ascendency;
The leaves fall, the swifts fly south
And so the great wheel turns.
And with that
Our daughter has returned to university today after her long weekend at home. The house suddenly seems very quiet, and we miss her terribly, but she’s in absolutely the right place, doing absolutely the right thing, which makes letting her go a lot easier. All is well. (She’s studying French, hence the title!) N.