Jorio: Taking it back

OK, computer, listen up:
I’m in charge here.
Yes, me. Not you.
Have you got that?

I know you think
You’re something pretty special,
With your funky icons
Four gigabytes of RAM

Weird ways of working
That I don’t understand.
You said nothing, but
I bet you laughed

At my frustration. Windows?
You have no idea
How close you came
To an old-fashioned defenestration.

I guess you thought
You’d got me whipped.
You’re new here, so
I’ll let it slide.

But from now on
I say, you do.
And above all, remember
Who can unplug whom.

 
 

After a long and frustrating couple of days, I feel I’m finally subduing my new PC and bending it to my will. Just had to show it who’s boss. N.

(My daughter was thrilled when she discovered that ‘defenestration’ is a real word. She was even more delighted when she found out what it meant! 🙂 )

PC, RIP

Seven years
We were together.
Can’t believe
It’s over
Just like that. As sudden as
A switch being thrown.

We were tight
As bark on a tree.
I knew you
You knew me
And while it wasn’t perfect
We always got by.

You picked up
My typing mistakes;
Handled mail
Paid the bills
Kept me going through long days
Sat up with me nights

Played me songs
Helped me hit deadlines.
Sure, you crashed
Now and then.
But who doesn’t? You got up
(Eventually)

And went on.
I kept faith with you
And would have
Even now
Had some faceless, heartless suit
Not come between us.

I’ve moved on:
Your replacement is
New, young, bright,
Wants to please,
But shallow, all appearance,
Without your deep strength.

Guess I’ll learn
To live with it. But
It’s not you.
We held out
Longer than they thought we could.
Time to say goodbye.

 
 

I’m in mourning for my faithful seven-year-old PC, which I’ve been forced to replace by the imminent demise of Windows XP, So, my friends, this is the first piece produced on my fancy new machine. It has Windows 8.1, which I already heartily detest, and the latest version of MS Office, which can’t hold a candle to my trusty Word 2000…I’m feeling rather sick at heart, to be honest. The old machine was working perfectly well (if at a rather leisurely pace sometimes) and my needs haven’t really changed, so I resent being made to change. Plus, Windows 8.1 is designed with smartphone and tablet users in mind, and since I’m neither, I’m struggling to adapt. I’ve been a Microsoft man forever, and I’ll never jump the fence to Apple, but today my loyalty (not to mention my patience) has been severely tested! N.

(It’s also why I haven’t got round to leaving or replying to comments this weekend: I will make amends next week, I promise.)