Honesty

I dreamed of horses – chestnuts, bays
And dapples; any horse would do.
And Fortune smiled: I spent my days
Among them; it was all I knew.
I went to war with renegades
Who revelled in the ancient fight;
Found lion-hearted friends who made
My life complete, the whole world right.
We herded cattle, hunted, stood
Before the judges in the ring;
By hill and river, field and wood:
My everywhere, and everything.
And part of me is clinging on
To this belief: that going back
To that life would reset what’s wrong
With this one; that I only lack
That presence; and if I restore
That stable centre, then my mind
Would know the ease it did before
And I could leave my cares behind.

But if I’m honest with myself, set sentiment aside
It’s not the horses that I miss
But being young enough to ride.