Big five-o

I believed
This would be a moment
To take stock
A step back
A long hard look
At the coming years
With half an eye
On the trail of dust behind.

I find myself
The end of everything
With all that I have been and know
Made instantly irrelevant.

And what I thought
Might be an end in sight
Turns out to be a starting-over
A forced march down an unknown road
To hasty plans and desperate choices
I have no heart or will to make.

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